Hawaii 2013

Aloha!  We just got back from a wonderful spring break in Oahu.  We had received some generous gifts from a couple of friends the Frazzinis and the Bartos, and basically all we knew to do was to retrace our steps and go back to Hawaii, where we'd been able to vacation with Hans two years ago and have such a wonderful vacation! Thanks, you guys.

It was good to go back, but of course, bittersweet to be there without our gorgeous boy, our water dog, Hansie bear. Kevin brought his bike and did a lot of great rides.  We all enjoyed the beach, some hikes, some great food, and some sight-seeing of one of our favorite shows, Lost, on-location settings.  We snorkeled and even did stand-up paddleboarding:) Coincidentally, we had some old friends from grad school also visiting the island at the same time, and we were able to get together with Crystal, Peg who were visitng their daughter Callley there off at college in Honolulu:)  Thanks FB for making that happen.

We are back now, grateful for the trip, and actually ready to get back into some kind of routine here.  Elle's Spring Break kicked off for us in Las Vegas for a soccer tournament, so it has been a real whirlwind!  Again, coincidentally we were able to hook up with our old college girlfriend Sarajane while we were both visiting Las Vegas.  Kind of amazing that we haven't seen any of these ladies in about 10 years and we hook up with all of them over this spring break:)

Thanks for checking up on us.

Oh, on another note - I'd like to share our friend Sam's song he wrote for Hans, Hans Song.
Sam wrote this song and played it at Hans' celebration.  It is very special and wonderful to us.  Thank you, Sammy!

Six Months

So, it has now been six months to the day since we lost our special boy.

I thought I'd write a note about what we have been up to.  It's easier to tell you what we've been up to, than it is to tell you how we've been.  Words just don't do it.  I've heard it said that there's a word when you lose your spouse (widow), your parents (orphan), but when you lose a child there are just no words.  I have to say I don't even really like the question How are You?  It's just not fair.  There's no way to even begin to tap into an answer there.

The reality is, that somehow, we are able to get up and do everything we need to do.  I have allowed for a lot of time and space in my schedule to feel what I need to feel and I am grateful for that.  We have lost a special boy who does not get to be physically here with us and that is so mind  bogglingly unfair and difficult to grasp.  Of course I've cried buckets of tears and I will continue to cry and mourn for him for the rest of my life.  But at the same time, he is right here with us every moment of every day.  I can physically feel his presence.  I have been spiritually altered by his loss. When we lost Hans, we witnessed before our very eyes the completeness of his fight and his life.  I cannot describe or know how, but I am without any  doubt that he is flourishing somewhere on the other side.  When I lost him I experienced what I can only describe as Amazing Grace.  

We talk about Hans all the time, we tell funny stories, jot down memories, look at pictures of his beautiful silly self.  We are able to do things now that we haven't been able to do for some time.  But as we go out on each adventure, he is right there with us, calling all the shots as usual.   I've heard it said that life after cancer is easy.  There are so many things that are easy now.  We can literally do anything that we want.  But missing him is not easy.   I've also heard it said from Sam's mom there's Before Hans and Because of Hans.

All we can do now is "live it big time" because we can, because of Hans, because he cannot.  What we wouldn't give to have him sitting in a third grade classroom somewhere right now... I cannot even imagine that beautiful scene.

As far as what we are doing...  I started with the basics, trying to just get some exercise - jogging and yoga - and Kevin has his cycling and Elle her soccer and running.  We are all trying to just eat simple healthy meals. Kevin and Elle are doing well in work and school.  I'm tackling a few organizational problems that have been on the back burner, and I'm making some of the appointments that have been on the back burner (eye doc, vet, dentist, etc.)  I've been seeing a nice counselor.  I had a grievance about a hospital incident that needed to be filed.  I filed it.   I'm reading more.  I actually am giving War and Peace another shot via audiobook, and I joined a book group.  We are trying to honor our boy by doing small charitable acts that strike us as the right thing to do.  Hans leads the way there, believe me.  Kevin and I were invited to join a special Advisory Council for the local Hospital ER, which is aiming to build Bakersfield's first pediatric ER within a couple of years.  We had our first meeting last night and I think it is going to be an interesting and valuable experience.  I know that Hans had something of a list of demands out of any hospital or ER setting.  Those are now deeply ingrained and we would very much like to help make positive changes. We are also daydreaming about different fundraising events we could eventually do to honor his special memory.  We are able to take a few trips here and there  - got a special one coming up that I will soon post about!  I would like to thank the Frazzini and Barto families for making this trip possible!  I surprised myself and just accepted a part time job.  I'm in training to be a sales rep for a solar energy company. I love it that there is a Hansie connection.  We were in the process of converting to a solar energy system when we lost Hans.  He was super excited about it.  Hans had an eagle eye and could spot a solar system a mile a way.  He would point them out and shout out "Solar Panels! Solar Panels!"  I'm excited that I will be putting more panels up for him to spot.

I haven't been writing here as much, but I figure for the time being I'll keep the blog open and write as it strikes me, and especially to share announcements of upcoming events. I thank you for following our story.  I guess if we've been touched by Hans' story the best thing we can do with his legacy is to live our own lives authentically like he did, to love as loyally as he did.  

xoxo, Lara

Last of the Talks

Hi there,
I'm not quite sure why the I've delayed, but I have one last of the talks from Hans' Celebration of Life.  My Dad/Grandpa Oscar gave a nice speech that I'll share with you here.  Thanks Dad.  Hansie loved you!

Hans - he was beautiful boy, He was a manchild born in Texas, a real cowboy.

Lara’d say – oh dad, he’s a boy child!

For the first 3/12 years,  you just couldn’t hardly hold that kid back!

He had this  Bob Dylan, multi colored hair – it just grew out to  here.

You just knew that kid was gonna break some hearts.  He was not gonna have any problem.

We’d take him out with a baseball, and we’d throw it –

he hit whatever you gave –  a good side arm, anything that came at him.

He wasn’t afraid of anything – horses – anything.

He didn’t even know how to swim – but over at the swimming pool he’d just jump in and start swimming away – he was just having so much fun!

He was a comeback kid – he beat it.  They’d said “Take lots of pictures, Go to Disneyland” But Lara and Kevin – they kept looking for a cure.  He turned that thing around more than half a dozen times, he kept beating it.

Elle was a good big sister.  She was always there. She never complained about not being able to make it to a soccer game.  They just always worked around it – they’d always take two cars if they had to.  They worked around it.  And, anytime he was feeling good – boy there was an activity!

In his nine and a half years, there was a lot of living.  He was way ahead on his home schooling.  He was so smart and so good with all those complicated transformer toys.  When he had to, he could go out and the Internet and figure out how to put them together.  He was so big on Legos.  Heck I don’t know what he could have been.

I gotta keep one eye on the clock here, Lara told me “Five to seven mintues, Dad!”

Okay – I don’t know what he could have been – an architect, or engineer or anything.  He’d lock on with that little mind of his and he was just all concentration.  You could teach him anything.  Give him a microscope, telescope, teach him all the signs of astrology.

You know,  they started Hospice and Lara said, he's still in treatment, they demanded concurrent care.  And the Priest came out to do Last Rights, Lara’d say “Last Rights – that doesn’t mean that we're gonna lose him.  They’re blessing him, too.” They were always looking for a back door.  There ain’t nobody that fought harder and I don’t know why God took him, but my son and I we want to live good solid, responsible lives and honor Hans Weberling!  My son can’t be here, but he really did want to be here.  I did dearly love that little boy.  I don’t know why God took him, but when I get up to Heaven I’ll ask him.  That’s all I can do.  We don’t yet know why, but that’s jut how it came down.

And look, you people came out here from all over the country.  You’ve come from Texas, Bakersfield, and Santa Cruz, CA, LA. Arizona, New Jersey, Chicago.  Thirty flights were booked to get up here to these services.  You have all followed Lara’s blog – she kept it up all these years.  Whatever Lara does with her life, now, it’s all up to her.  But whenever one door closes, another opens.  We’ll figure it out we’ll get through this.

You know I should say something about Kevin, too.  He just grinded it out.  He just grinded it out.  When it came time he was always there.  They just never missed a beat.  That family stayed strong and solid and focused.   They kept that boy alive a lot longer than what could have happened.  There were so many miracles that we were just getting used to them.  They just kept coming.

I won’t keep you any longer.  Thanks for coming out.

Results are in!

Looks like the Houston area bakers did it again, they brought in around $2,500 at Friday's Bake Sale.

Thanks to ALL of you who donated, baked, volunteered, and shopped the sale.

xoxo

Bake Sale/Blood Drive reminders

Just a reminder that the bake sale is tomorrow!  Thanks everyone.  If you'd like to bake, shop or volunteer, feel free to join in the fun at TCH tomorrow.  If you are like me and would like to kick in a few bucks from afar - you can go to CNCF Donation Page and click the Houston Bake Sale in the drop down bar.

ALSO - I'd like to remind you about the Blood Drive in Hans' honor.  Feb 18th at Chick-Fil-A Sawdust Road!  Thanks everyone.

Here is a cute Bake Sale story about a newly diagnosed NB kiddo that I thought I'd share:)

5th Annual Valentines Day Bake Sale at TCH

Hansie loved to help bake and get ready for the bake sale.  I think this was taken in 2010, he was 7.

Thanks, Charon and Jenn for organizing another great bake sale.
Proceeds go to the Childrens Neuroblastoma Cancer Foundation.

Info below in case you are able to help!  Thank you all.  What a great way to honor our kids.

Texas Children's Hosptal 3rd Floor Foot Bridge

·         Date:  Friday, Feb. 8th, 10am – 2:30pm (set- up starting at 9:30am)

Woodlands Blood Drive in Honor of Hans

Thanks to our pals Blair and Kim who have put together a Blood Drive to honor our special boy.  We are touched by this event!  Thank you.  xoxo


There will be Free Chicken and T shirts!
Thank you for donating if you can.  Hans received blood and platelet transfusions dozens and dozens of times over the course of his treatment.  We have always been thankful for the lifesaving donations!  


Blood drive in honor of Hans Weberling
Monday February 18, 2013
11am - 3:30 pm
Chick fil A Sawdust Road

Ran by the Gulf Coast Regional Blood Center

The easiest way to sign up is to go to www.giveblood.org and search for the drive by the date (Feb 18th) or CODE (Q170).  Lots of time slots available but we'd LOVE to fill them all and have them extend the time!  It you are unable to make it, you can donate at ANY Gulf Coast Regional Blood Center in February and use THAT CODE to contribute in honor of Hans.  Please feel free to INVITE ANYONE you know!

Another talk, at last

There are two more talks to share.  I hadn't planned such a long, delay, but here you go.

Roxie is my dear friend and Hans' Godmother.  She found the amazing strength to MC the Celebration for us, and to write the following for us:

(The Celebration opened with the following audio clip from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.)  

"I am Optimus Prime and I send this message so that our pasts will always be remembered, for it is in those memories that we live on."

Roxie:

Welcome.  Today we’re here to honor and celebrate a nine year old.  He loved Transformers!  

Today we mourn the person that Hans could have been, a politician, a pro skate boarder, a guitarist, a priest, a teacher, a nurse.  We have all stood as witnesses to life, suffering and the incredible strength of Hans and his family.  But today we also celebrate who he was, a lover of animals, a rugged individualist, a super griller, a guy with excellent dance moves, and a great Lego builder.  Today, we celebrate Hans.

I’ve thought a lot about this day, we all hoped this day would never come.  I’ve thought there is so much to say if this day did come.

Hans was so much to so many people.   We all feel honored to have been a part of his journey.  I met Lara Kevin, and Ellie in 2000 and Hans wasn’t around yet.  And when I met them, Lara and I were working together at Monterey Rape Crisis Center.  We would commute most days together in the car -  an hour there and an hour back. And because of that we had a lot of girlfriend time that most people don’t get in their twenties and we became fast friends. When they moved to Texas, and upon the birth of Hans, I was honored when they asked me to be his Godmother.  And I took that job very seriously.  It was a little heavier than I thought it would be at the time!

Hans was a cherub as a baby -  A beautiful perfect soul.  He was so full of love and excitement, and had the most amazing dance moves!  He has the most dedicated parents that I have ever known.

I was with Hans and Lara and Kevin and Ellie through a lot of his treatments and therapies, especially once they moved back to California. And all I can say from being on the ground there with them is that he was a Gladiator.  He was a trooper.  He had the strength and spirit that was amazing.  It was like he was trying to get all of life in as fast and as hard as he could.  He was the toughest kid I knew.

I was with Hans within 48 hours before he passed.  I was able to lean down and whisper to Hans “I love you”.  Most of you who know Hans, know he was a little standoffish the last few years.  It took him to be asleep to get so close, but while I was so close I got to see all of those cute freckles that I had forgotten about that he’d had since he was a baby. And I remembered the old Hans, the one that we took to the zoo, the one that would click his glass to mine to say cheers – ten fifteen times in a row if I wanted to. He’s part of all of us, and I truly believe his trials will go on to help other children.  I will think of Hans in every blade of grass, every unfolding leaf, every flower, every planet, every sunbeam.  I love you Hans.

Thanks, Roxie!  Hansie loved you!

Sharing CNCF Holiday Appeal newsletter (parts of it, at least)

In this CNCF issue *Hans Weberling's legacy *A letter from the President *New database fuels research *Anna's Hope gives $50,000 *Hockey team raises $7,500 *A Texas-sized bake sale *Giving double     Follow-up links    CNCF Website CNCF Parks Donate Now         Life after loss: Hans Weberling   This New Year's Day will be Lara Cady Weberling's first since her 9-year-old son Hans lost his fight with neuroblastoma in September. But even now, Weberling's hope shines through her tears. The generosity of supporters has sustained it. Three weeks after Hans' diagnosis in 2006, friends organized a 5k run for the family in Houston and raised about $20,000. "What's so beautiful about those funds is, the following June we found out about the CNCF conference. It was only about three weeks away. Since we had those funds, we were able to fly our family of four up there on short notice. We learned so much about neuroblastoma. It was such a great benefit to us." Read More     A Texas-sized bake sale   Neuroblastoma supporters in Houston raised $3,250 and paid tribute to an angel, Hans Weberling, during their holiday bake sale at Texas Children's Hospital on December 7.   "These are Texas-sized bake sales, something like 10 cafeteria tables full of items," said Lara Cady Weberling, who spearheaded the first bake sale in February 2008 when son Hans was going through neuroblastoma treatment Read More

Another Great Bake Sale

We heard from our friends back in Texas that we had another fabulous Holiday Bake sale.  This year it was extra special because our friends were able to deliver all those donated toys and PJs to the 9th floor (inpatient cancer floor), the 8th floor (bone marrow transplant), the Cancer Center Clinic, and our friends were able to play Ms. Claus and let kids "shop" for toys right off the Bake Sale Tables.  How special!  I've never seen that done.  We sure appreciated Hans being remembered in a such a special way.  He loved it, of course, when our days would be brightened by something fun!  Thank you, friends!

We have heard the totals, and so far, we had a 2850 count, plus $450 in online contributions, for a grand total of $3,300 (maybe still counting??).  That's about our biggest total yet.  Thanks so very much to everyone who baked, volunteered, donated toys and PJ's, and everyone who shopped that day as well.  Thanks to those who donated towards the Houston Bake Sale online, too.  It's all adding up.  To date, our 'Texas Sized' Bake Sales have brought in nearly $35,000 for NB research and Education.  

Special Tribute Bake Sale at TCH Friday

I'm sharing this nice email I got from the CNCF today.  Thanks Charon and Jenn and all our friends in Houston for   the TCH Bake Sale!  The Bake Sale has raised $31,000 and counting since the original Valentines Day, 2008 Bake Sale.  That's a Texas Sized Bake sale, for ya...  Hans loved to help bake and he liked to watch me count up the money and hear how much we raised for the CNCF.  He loved to rake it in!

Special tribute to Hans Weberling at annual Houston holiday bake sale Neuroblastoma supporters in Houston will pay special tribute to an angel, Hans Weberling, during their annual bake sale at Texas Children's Hospital on Friday, December 7, from 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. Organizers will be collecting some of Hans' favorite things -- soft pajamas, Transformers and Bionicles toys, and Legos - to give away to children in the hospital. New and unwrapped toys and gifts will be accepted up until the day of the bake sale.    Donations of all sorts of baked goodies are welcome: cookies, candies, cakes and pies (whole or sliced), cupcakes, muffins, as well as sugar-free or gluten-free items - as long as they do not require refrigeration. Labeling foods (especially those containing allergens like nuts) is very important, and clear packaging is best to entice buyers.    "This is a great event to support for anyone who needs to fulfill a community service project," says Pat Tallungan, president of CNCF. "I'm eternally grateful to the commitment our Houston families have continued to make over the years to support CNCF's mission."    Every dollar raised go to the Children's Neuroblastoma Cancer Foundation to fund research, awareness and education. Hans' family has raised more than $13,000 through a virtual park they set up online in his honor at www.cncfparks.org. Hans recently lost his battle with cancer.    If baking isn't your thing, you can make a monetary donation online. Go to www.cncfhope.organd click on "Donate Now." Be sure to select "Houston Bake Sale" from drop-down menu.    Parents of current or former cancer patients are also invited to send or bring in a picture of their child to display during the event. To drop off photos or baked goods, or to volunteer, email Charon Edgington atCharonEdgington@comcast.net , or Jennifer Pigott at jenniferpigott@att.net.

 

I just wanted to share a couple of pictures with you.  We were able to spend this weekend with our friends in Santa Cruz celebrating the wedding of Roxie and Tyson.

 Here we are:)

Roxie and Tyson were sure to remember Hans.

Roxie and her mom. (I will have to post one with Tyson, later, I failed to take many pictures.)
We were glad to be there.  I do have just a few more things to get back to regarding the Celebration of Life, so I will get back to that next...