About Me

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Bakersfield, CA, United States
Hans was a busy, happy, sweet and fearless three year old when he was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma. He fought his disease like a "gladiator" for nearly 6 years. Hans was an animal lover to his core. He was 'guarded' at home by his three cats, Black, Orange and Cotton. He also had his Golden Retriever, Honey, to keep him company. Hans enjoyed swimming, biking, gardening, grilling (he had his very own grill!), horseback riding, playing video games, building Legos, and flipping between Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network and Animal Planet. Hans loved all members of his family and he was a loyal friend. He had to go through a lot of treatment in his life. But Hans powered through it. His attitude was let's get this done! His motivation was always to get back home, to his family, pets, favorite foods and pool.

Monday, December 09, 2013

Kick Off Meeting for CHLA Neuroblastoma Family Group

I would like to let people know that, together with the NB Team at CHLA and the CNCF,  I am starting up a grassroots CHLA Neuroblastoma Family Group.  The idea is for families to come together for information, support, community, and to join forces in fighting back by supporting one another in fundraising efforts for research, education and awareness.

Kick Off Meeting!  CHLA-NB Family Group

Neuroblastoma families (parents/caregivers, child, siblings) invited to attend
Please join us for our Kick-Off Meeting! 
Enjoy lunch and some social time
Round table discussion on the direction of this new group for families of children with Neuroblastoma

Thursday Dec 19th
Anderson Pavilion
Family Lounge 4M
Noon – 2pm

Lunch will be provided courtesy of the Children’s Neuroblastoma Cancer Foundation

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Texas Bakesale Still BIG!

The TCH CNCF Bakesale is still going strong.   NB mamas Charon and Jenn ran it for a couple of years - but with Jenn's family move to Oklahoma,  the reins have been passed over to our friends Blair and Kim and Julie.  Thanks for taking over the organizing of the fun chaos that is the Bakesale!  If you've somehow missed this changing of the guard, and would like to bake, work or even shop it,  feel free to email Kim at:  esmommy2000@yahoo.com

Thanks to Charon and Jenn for your years as "Presidents" of the Bakesale!  It is a big, crazy, fun job - I know!!!

Thanks too to everyone who baked!  You know who you are - too many to list.  Thanks to Carmen, Brenda, Mayada, Amy and Charon, who came out to help Blair, Kim, Julie work the sale.   You sweet volunteers raised another $2,000 for pediatric cancer research and education.  We feel the love!

Thursday, October 03, 2013


Hi, my name is Carmen Smiley, and feel extremely lucky that I had the pleasure of knowing and being touched by Hans.   Lara has asked, and I am humbled to, be a Guest on the blog and share the story with you of how Hans’ Texas “family” decided to remember Hans on the anniversary of his passing. 

Saturday, September 21st, 2013 came with mixed emotions. This marked the first full year of living here on Earth without Hans. But, it also was the beginning of a tradition where a group of people, who had been brought together because of their love for Hans, got together once again in his honor to dedicate a walking path to him (just steps from the old Sand Pebble Dr. House in The Woodlands, Texas) and maintain it in his honor. 
As we pondered various ideas of how we could appropriately honor Hans on this anniversary, we always came back to the question - what would have made Hans a happy boy?  To name a few, we thought of a red brick alongside many more at the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion entrance, specially engraved with a message honoring Hans, and we also thought of, and wondered how we'd go about putting a permanent placement of an object in one of the local pools or parks Hans used to happily frequent quite often. 
But, the ideas didn’t seem to be perfect enough.  And, the word "Family" kept popping into my mind. Hans so very much loved his family: Dad, Mom and big sis Elle (of course, + all his animal friends). So, the idea of doing an activity of Adopting-a-Path seemed so appropriate. In effect, each of us on Team Hans had "adopted" our little buddy.  Getting our group together and picking up litter along the same path that Lara and Kev and Elle would stroll him, would baby jog him (where he may have tossed out a blue raspberry Jolly Rancher or Ring Pop candy wrapper, or two, or three along his journey from time to time), would take walks on, and where he'd ridden his bike, seemed so special to us.  
So, we rallied the troops and once again the love for this little guy warmed all of our hearts. We gathered early, beginning at 8:00am, on the morning of September 21st.  We enjoyed donuts and drinks, and visited as we listened to Sam VanLaningham 's beautiful song called Hans Song, we rocked out to the Big Time Rush album-Hans' fav., wrote chalk messages, held Optimus Prime balloons, sported our Hans-gear, smiled, laughed, felt Hans’ presence,  felt the spirit of those who loved Hans from all over the world who couldn’t make it, felt somber, ate blue candy, signed a guest book, took photographs, gazed at Marigolds, contributed money for research we long to find a cure for, walked together, picked up trash together, pulled wagons of trash/recyclables together, played on play-structures, swung on swings, ran, walked, goofed around.  But, most importantly of all, we remembered our friend Hans and thought of his family, The Weberlings, who are so dear to our hearts and who will always have a special place in our lives.   
So now our group has a rallying point, a path, somewhere to gather, reflect, and give back. A place where our love for this boy and his family can be put into action. You all know that's what Hans would want us to do… He’d want us happy, having fun, doing what we like. There is a passage that I thought was somehow fitting to this story, for its obvious use of the theme of a path, but also for its message about the things that happen along the way. On all of our paths we encountered  Hans, and on his path he encountered us and because of this, we are all better for it.  

As you journey through life, choose your destinations well, but do not hurry there.  You will arrive soon enough.  Wander the back roads and forgotten paths, keeping your destination in your heart like the fixed point of a compass.  Seek out new voices, strange sights, and ideas foreign to your own.  Such things are riches for the soul.  And if, upon your arrival, you find that your destination is not exactly as you had dreamed, do not be disappointed.  Think of all  you would have missed but for the journey there, and know that the true worth of your travels lies not in where you come to be at journey’s end, but in who you come to be along the way.  For life isn’t a destination—it’s a journey.  We all come upon unexpected curves and turning points, mountaintops and valleys.  Everything that happens to us shapes who we are becoming.  And in the adventure of each day, we discover the best in ourselves. 

I think Hansie might be looking down from Heaven right now advising us to continue to do just what this passage said.  I know I’m glad Hans’ journey had us in it. 
Thank you to everyone for making this possible.   And stayed tuned from me for future ‘pick up’ dates happening each quarter…and the journey will go on…..
LOVE and MISS you dearly Hans; and love to you all,  
PS-If you are feeling moved, and would like to help by making a monetary donation (big or small, as every penny helps), to The Children’s Neuroblastoma Cancer Foundation, please do so by visiting Hans’ park http://www.cncfparks.org/help-a-child/park/21/    Let’s make September not only just Pediatric Cancer Awareness Month, but make it each and every day of the year!

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Love and Loss at One Year

As most of you know, it has been one year since we lost Hans.  I wrote at six months that it was easier to talk about what we are doing, than it is to talk about how we are doing.  Now, at one year, I’m compelled to share some of my personal thoughts and feelings.  In the past year, as I’ve read different books, a few things have really popped out at me as helpful and meaningful.  I am going to share some of them and put my thoughts together about losing Hans and the emotional/spiritual aftermath of our loss. 

This year, I made my way through War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. One passage helped me put into perspective the thoughts and feelings we may experience passing from this earthly life onto death.  Prince Andrey has deathbead revelations about life, love, and his almost unrequited love in Natasha.  "Love, what is love?  Love hinders death. Love is life.  All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love. Everything is united by it alone. Love is God.  And to die means that I, a particle of love, shall return to the general and eternal source.”   How beautiful to think that as we witnessed the outward signs of Hans’ last minutes of life, he was tapping into a greater, more beautiful source and reconnecting to that place from which we have all have come and to which we shall all return.  Prince Andrey goes on to describe, “I knew that feeling of love, which is the very essence of the soul, for which no object is needed.” 

The morning that we lost Hans, one year ago today, we were overcome by a feeling of Amazing Grace or, a peace that surpasses all understanding. Perhaps it came from a transcendence of knowing that Hans was somehow truly in even better hands than he was in his cozy home, in his little body, with his adoring family caring for him.

My favorite quote about what is to be found once you get to the other side comes from Eben Alexander, a neurosurgeon who experienced an entire week in Heaven, the same week he spent in a coma and by all outward measures was “brain dead”, not to return.  He chronicled his experiences in his book, Proof of Heaven.  Once he “died”, Alexander experienced a message of unconditional love and acceptance he received beyond the scope of language.  He was greeted by a beautiful lady (who he’d later find out was the sister from whom he was separated at birth) who shared with him a look of love that was beyond all our earthly constructs of love.  “It was something higher, holding all those other kinds of love within itself while at the same time being more genuine and pure than all of them.”  The message he received had three parts:  “You are loved and cherished, dearly, forever.  You have nothing to fear. There is nothing you can do wrong.”  What a welcome!  What a beautiful and almost incomprehensible comfort to think that our boy had passed on to be even more fully loved once he departed from his adoring family.  And, oh, he was so loved right here!  (Serendipitously, Kevin stumbled across Newsweek Magazine and its article with this passage on San Juan Island the day after we celebrated Hans’ life in Seattle!)

I love to read about love and the way it transcends death.  I continuously think about the beautiful, powerful unconditional love Hans had for us. Our boy endured hundreds and hundreds of treatments and procedures in an almost endless nonstop stream, just to be here, just to be present for each of his days with us, to be a part of his little family, to love and to be loved.  He repeatedly summoned the force to get back into the ring like a tiny little gladiator.  He’d go back in and take anything that was thrown at him, tapping into an energy reserve from deep within. That was his job and for it he gave his lifeblood.  We witnessed a sustained and intense effort and indeed, we were humbled and awed to be the little family that he was fighting to simply come home to. To be so loved and to have loved so is a gift-what a gift!

When I think deeply and am heart broken that Hans is gone, that he is no longer physically here, I have precious and deep moments of realization about what he has left behind.  I know that Hans’ love was as real a thing as I can imagine.  I keep thinking:  Love is a noun, like a brick, or a blanket. Hans’ love was that real.  His love had energy and that energy affected and changed us.  We have been metaphysically, physically, emotionally, and spiritually altered by the impact of that love.  Hans’ love for us has changed us at the very core of our bodies, spirits and minds. Thus, Hans’ love remains alive in us.  It has affected the way we go about living our lives and interacting with others.

Yes, we are left without him physically here.  But there are caverns that have been carved into our very beings.  These caverns are now filled with something else, something deep and still.  There is now an internal well or rich reservoir of love and compassion. Hans created that space, he carved it out and left it there, and his love permeates the sacredness of that space.

I was blown away by this passage from Wild, by Cheryl Strayed, about the aftermath of catastrophe. After losing her mom to cancer, Strayed went on an epic hike of the Pacific Crest Trail.  She hiked through most of California and, once in Oregon, came upon Crater Lake - the remains of what was once Mount Mazama - a volcano whose massive eruption about 7,500 years ago left behind no mountain at all but a vast emptiness that would eventually become the deepest lake in the US.  “This was once Mazama, I kept reminding myself.  This was once a mountain that stood nearly 12,000 feet tall and then had its heart removed.  This was once a wasteland of lava and pumice and ash.  This was once an empty bowl that took hundreds of years to fill.  But, hard as I tried, I couldn’t see them in my mind’s eye.  Not the mountain, or the wasteland or the empty bowl.  They were simply not there anymore.  There was only the stillness and silence of that water.  What a mountain and a wasteland and an empty bowl turned into after the healing began.”  

We shall never be healed of the loss of our boy.  We shall never recover from the plucking away of that gorgeous blonde thing, with his sea green eyes and radiant smile, our only son and brother. One year after our loss of him, and all we can say is:  Love prevails and endures.  Love is forever.  We comfort ourselves in knowing that he was beloved while he was here with us.   Hans lived a beautiful life and now he is a part of something bigger and (again, incomprehensibly!) even more beautiful. 

I still find myself having difficulty balancing on the slippery log of perspective.  I can focus on the tragic loss of the boy that doesn’t get to play on a soccer team, graduate, get married, build a life and a career, or do any of those things that make up the life that each of us has come to expect and take for granted.  Alternately, I can focus on the beauty and the completeness of Hans’ life and his fight for it, which he gave everything he had. 

What do we hope to get out of life?  How many years, how many things, how many possessions, how many relationships?  How many goals do we hope to meet?  I am comforted in knowing that although Hans’ life was short – he got from his compact little life all that any of us can ever hope for.  Writer Raymond Carver left this question for us, engraved on his tombstone:

And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.”

Love is not only the very essence of the stuff of the soul, but to love and be loved is the end game of this life. I was always consciously grateful for the gift of Hans’ love.  I always used say to him,  “Thank you for loving me."  I guess I wanted him to know that I would be eternally grateful for the gift of it.  

I have to generously thank each of you who also loved Hans and who helped him to be so beloved for his time here on Earth.  I know and I saw how he loved each of you.  Thank you for scooping him up and loving him back. 

Finally, Anne Lamott writes in Help, Thanks, Wow, “Love falls to the earth, rises from the ground, pools around the afflicted.  Love pulls people back to their feet.  Bodies and souls are fed.  Bones and lives heal.  New blades of grass grow from charred soil.  The sun rises.”  In the emotional aftermath of losing our boy, we are left with no choice but to move forward and to make ourselves a beautiful life.  But, believe me, we are transformed.  Hans has become a part of us. He is helping to plant the seeds and create the landscape that we shall know.  

What is perhaps most important about Hans’ story, is that it is not just Hans’ story.  It is a quintessential human story.  This is what we are here for.  This is what we do.  We love deeply.  We give this life and our loved ones everything we’ve got.  Each of us has this same powerful love for our beloved and it is a beautiful thing.  We are unified as human beings in our capacity for this beautiful, deep, soulful love.  

I am but blessed to be a witness of, and a party to, a divine example of the depth, beauty and intensity of such love.      

Love prevails and endures.  Love is forever.  We are not alone.

Psalm 23  The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Monday, September 02, 2013

Pedi Cancer Awareness Month

As you all probably already know, September is Pediatric Cancer Awareness Month.  It's so much more than that to me.  Hans' first symptoms popped up in September of 2006, yet we wouldn't know what we were dealing with for another month.  While Hans was in treatment, he never had the typical "Back to School" experience that his friends and buddies had.  Each September was a trying time.  It was an often heart breaking balancing act of deciding whether to start school or hold back, home bound schooling or classroom, managing various treatments and side effects, while trying to find some routine and normalcy in life.  Hans never complained about his lot or the concessions he had to make. But for me, September highlighted the difficulties his diagnosis brought on.  I  thought of Hans and his struggles each September, as well as each of his buddies who had lost their battles and who wouldn't be going back to the classroom.  So many empty spots on the bus:(  And finally, September was the month we lost him to his cancer last year in 2012.  

I wanted to share that two friends - Kevin and Carter House  (Hans' bud Zachary's uncle and cousin) will be doing The Isabella Santos Foundation 5K this month in Hans' memory.  In fact, the race date falls on the first anniversary that we lost him.  You can click Kevin and Carter's Fundraising Page if you'd like to support Kevin and Carter and their race.  Thanks, guys.

Monday, July 01, 2013

Angel Buddy

Hans now has a new little bro with him up in Heaven.  Our young friend Isaias lost his battle to his Neuroblastoma this week.  Isaias was only 2 when I met him and he instantly charmed me.  When Hans started getting treatment in LA, we didn't know as many families as we had at TCH.  Isaias was one of the first boys we met there while he and Hans were going through radiation therapy.  He met me by charging me $2 for a kiss for his Relay for Life campaign.  He stole my heart with that kiss! Isaias was an outgoing little guy and everyone in the clinic knew him.  Both he and his mom had a way of making a connection with everyone they met.  Perla fought a beautiful battle for her boy.  The deep mother-son love bond those two have created in their effort to keep Isaias alive is stunning.
He was only three when he was life here on earth ended.  With such a strong spirit, and so much outflowing love at that young age, I think once again that the loss of that life to the world at large is just incalculable.

Praying for you Perla, Isaias, and your entire family.

Love is forever.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Father's Day

It has been a while since I posted anything so I thought I'd write a Father's Day update.  I wanted to share a couple of things.  We are keeping busy around here.  We have been able to continue to take a couple of little trips since I last posted.  Elle "graduated" from the 8th Grade and is starting an adventurous summer in which she'll hit 6 states in about six weeks! She has already been for a visit to Texas, and off to a YMCA camp in Colorado (Estes Park), and I am about to join up with her in New Orleans for my cousin Heather's wedding to her beau Chris.

 Hans was so fortunate to have in Kevin a daddy who would really go the distance for him.  He pretty much threw the parenting rulebook out the window in 2006 and was Hansie's best friend and ultimate wish granter. Those two sure had a bunch of fun together, and I have joyful memories of that epic father-son love bond, which is so special!

 Love is forever.

Thursday, April 04, 2013

Hawaii 2013

Aloha!  We just got back from a wonderful spring break in Oahu.  We had received some generous gifts from a couple of friends the Frazzinis and the Bartos, and basically all we knew to do was to retrace our steps and go back to Hawaii, where we'd been able to vacation with Hans two years ago and have such a wonderful vacation! Thanks, you guys.

It was good to go back, but of course, bittersweet to be there without our gorgeous boy, our water dog, Hansie bear. Kevin brought his bike and did a lot of great rides.  We all enjoyed the beach, some hikes, some great food, and some sight-seeing of one of our favorite shows, Lost, on-location settings.  We snorkeled and even did stand-up paddleboarding:) Coincidentally, we had some old friends from grad school also visiting the island at the same time, and we were able to get together with Crystal, Peg who were visitng their daughter Callley there off at college in Honolulu:)  Thanks FB for making that happen.

We are back now, grateful for the trip, and actually ready to get back into some kind of routine here.  Elle's Spring Break kicked off for us in Las Vegas for a soccer tournament, so it has been a real whirlwind!  Again, coincidentally we were able to hook up with our old college girlfriend Sarajane while we were both visiting Las Vegas.  Kind of amazing that we haven't seen any of these ladies in about 10 years and we hook up with all of them over this spring break:)

Thanks for checking up on us.

Oh, on another note - I'd like to share our friend Sam's song he wrote for Hans, Hans Song.
Sam wrote this song and played it at Hans' celebration.  It is very special and wonderful to us.  Thank you, Sammy!

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Six Months

So, it has now been six months to the day since we lost our special boy.
I thought I'd write a note about what we have been up to.  It's easier to tell you what we've been up to, than it is to tell you how we've been.  Words just don't do it.  I've heard it said that there's a word when you lose your spouse (widow), your parents (orphan), but when you lose a child there are just no words.  I have to say I don't even really like the question How are You?  It's just not fair.  There's no way to even begin to tap into an answer there.

The reality is, that somehow, we are able to get up and do everything we need to do.  I have allowed for a lot of time and space in my schedule to feel what I need to feel and I am grateful for that.  We have lost a special boy who does not get to be physically here with us and that is so mind  bogglingly unfair and difficult to grasp.  Of course I've cried buckets of tears and I will continue to cry and mourn for him for the rest of my life.  But at the same time, he is right here with us every moment of every day.  I can physically feel his presence.  I have been spiritually altered by his loss. When we lost Hans, we witnessed before our very eyes the completeness of his fight and his life.  I cannot describe or know how, but I am without any  doubt that he is flourishing somewhere on the other side.  When I lost him I experienced what I can only describe as Amazing Grace.  

We talk about Hans all the time, we tell funny stories, jot down memories, look at pictures of his beautiful silly self.  We are able to do things now that we haven't been able to do for some time.  But as we go out on each adventure, he is right there with us, calling all the shots as usual.   I've heard it said that life after cancer is easy.  There are so many things that are easy now.  We can literally do anything that we want.  But missing him is not easy.   I've also heard it said from Sam's mom there's Before Hans and Because of Hans.

All we can do now is "live it big time" because we can, because of Hans, because he cannot.  What we wouldn't give to have him sitting in a third grade classroom somewhere right now... I cannot even imagine that beautiful scene.

As far as what we are doing...  I started with the basics, trying to just get some exercise - jogging and yoga - and Kevin has his cycling and Elle her soccer and running.  We are all trying to just eat simple healthy meals. Kevin and Elle are doing well in work and school.  I'm tackling a few organizational problems that have been on the back burner, and I'm making some of the appointments that have been on the back burner (eye doc, vet, dentist, etc.)  I've been seeing a nice counselor.  I had a grievance about a hospital incident that needed to be filed.  I filed it.   I'm reading more.  I actually am giving War and Peace another shot via audiobook, and I joined a book group.  We are trying to honor our boy by doing small charitable acts that strike us as the right thing to do.  Hans leads the way there, believe me.  Kevin and I were invited to join a special Advisory Council for the local Hospital ER, which is aiming to build Bakersfield's first pediatric ER within a couple of years.  We had our first meeting last night and I think it is going to be an interesting and valuable experience.  I know that Hans had something of a list of demands out of any hospital or ER setting.  Those are now deeply ingrained and we would very much like to help make positive changes. We are also daydreaming about different fundraising events we could eventually do to honor his special memory.  We are able to take a few trips here and there  - got a special one coming up that I will soon post about!  I would like to thank the Frazzini and Barto families for making this trip possible!  I surprised myself and just accepted a part time job.  I'm in training to be a sales rep for a solar energy company. I love it that there is a Hansie connection.  We were in the process of converting to a solar energy system when we lost Hans.  He was super excited about it.  Hans had an eagle eye and could spot a solar system a mile a way.  He would point them out and shout out "Solar Panels! Solar Panels!"  I'm excited that I will be putting more panels up for him to spot.

I haven't been writing here as much, but I figure for the time being I'll keep the blog open and write as it strikes me, and especially to share announcements of upcoming events. I thank you for following our story.  I guess if we've been touched by Hans' story the best thing we can do with his legacy is to live our own lives authentically like he did, to love as loyally as he did.  
xoxo, Lara

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Last of the Talks

Hi there,
I'm not quite sure why the I've delayed, but I have one last of the talks from Hans' Celebration of Life.  My Dad/Grandpa Oscar gave a nice speech that I'll share with you here.  Thanks Dad.  Hansie loved you!

Hans - he was beautiful boy, He was a manchild born in Texas, a real cowboy.
Lara’d say – oh dad, he’s a boy child!
For the first 3/12 years,  you just couldn’t hardly hold that kid back!
He had this  Bob Dylan, multi colored hair – it just grew out to  here.
You just knew that kid was gonna break some hearts.  He was not gonna have any problem.
We’d take him out with a baseball, and we’d throw it –
he hit whatever you gave –  a good side arm, anything that came at him.
He wasn’t afraid of anything – horses – anything.
He didn’t even know how to swim – but over at the swimming pool he’d just jump in and start swimming away – he was just having so much fun!

He was a comeback kid – he beat it.  They’d said “Take lots of pictures, Go to Disneyland” But Lara and Kevin – they kept looking for a cure.  He turned that thing around more than half a dozen times, he kept beating it.

Elle was a good big sister.  She was always there. She never complained about not being able to make it to a soccer game.  They just always worked around it – they’d always take two cars if they had to.  They worked around it.  And, anytime he was feeling good – boy there was an activity!

In his nine and a half years, there was a lot of living.  He was way ahead on his home schooling.  He was so smart and so good with all those complicated transformer toys.  When he had to, he could go out and the Internet and figure out how to put them together.  He was so big on Legos.  Heck I don’t know what he could have been.
I gotta keep one eye on the clock here, Lara told me “Five to seven mintues, Dad!”

Okay – I don’t know what he could have been – an architect, or engineer or anything.  He’d lock on with that little mind of his and he was just all concentration.  You could teach him anything.  Give him a microscope, telescope, teach him all the signs of astrology.

You know,  they started Hospice and Lara said, he's still in treatment, they demanded concurrent care.  And the Priest came out to do Last Rights, Lara’d say “Last Rights – that doesn’t mean that we're gonna lose him.  They’re blessing him, too.” They were always looking for a back door.  There ain’t nobody that fought harder and I don’t know why God took him, but my son and I we want to live good solid, responsible lives and honor Hans Weberling!  My son can’t be here, but he really did want to be here.  I did dearly love that little boy.  I don’t know why God took him, but when I get up to Heaven I’ll ask him.  That’s all I can do.  We don’t yet know why, but that’s jut how it came down.

And look, you people came out here from all over the country.  You’ve come from Texas, Bakersfield, and Santa Cruz, CA, LA. Arizona, New Jersey, Chicago.  Thirty flights were booked to get up here to these services.  You have all followed Lara’s blog – she kept it up all these years.  Whatever Lara does with her life, now, it’s all up to her.  But whenever one door closes, another opens.  We’ll figure it out we’ll get through this.

You know I should say something about Kevin, too.  He just grinded it out.  He just grinded it out.  When it came time he was always there.  They just never missed a beat.  That family stayed strong and solid and focused.   They kept that boy alive a lot longer than what could have happened.  There were so many miracles that we were just getting used to them.  They just kept coming.

I won’t keep you any longer.  Thanks for coming out.

Saturday, February 09, 2013

Results are in!

Looks like the Houston area bakers did it again, they brought in around $2,500 at Friday's Bake Sale.

Thanks to ALL of you who donated, baked, volunteered, and shopped the sale.


Thursday, February 07, 2013

Bake Sale/Blood Drive reminders

Just a reminder that the bake sale is tomorrow!  Thanks everyone.  If you'd like to bake, shop or volunteer, feel free to join in the fun at TCH tomorrow.  If you are like me and would like to kick in a few bucks from afar - you can go to CNCF Donation Page and click the Houston Bake Sale in the drop down bar.

ALSO - I'd like to remind you about the Blood Drive in Hans' honor.  Feb 18th at Chick-Fil-A Sawdust Road!  Thanks everyone.

Here is a cute Bake Sale story about a newly diagnosed NB kiddo that I thought I'd share:)

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

5th Annual Valentines Day Bake Sale at TCH

Hansie loved to help bake and get ready for the bake sale.  I think this was taken in 2010, he was 7.

Thanks, Charon and Jenn for organizing another great bake sale.
Proceeds go to the Childrens Neuroblastoma Cancer Foundation.

Info below in case you are able to help!  Thank you all.  What a great way to honor our kids.

Texas Children's Hosptal 3rd Floor Foot Bridge

·         Date:  Friday, Feb. 8th, 10am – 2:30pm (set- up starting at 9:30am)

Friday, January 25, 2013

Woodlands Blood Drive in Honor of Hans

Thanks to our pals Blair and Kim who have put together a Blood Drive to honor our special boy.  We are touched by this event!  Thank you.  xoxo

There will be Free Chicken and T shirts!
Thank you for donating if you can.  Hans received blood and platelet transfusions dozens and dozens of times over the course of his treatment.  We have always been thankful for the lifesaving donations!  

Blood drive in honor of Hans Weberling
Monday February 18, 2013
11am - 3:30 pm
Chick fil A Sawdust Road

Ran by the Gulf Coast Regional Blood Center

The easiest way to sign up is to go to www.giveblood.org and search for the drive by the date (Feb 18th) or CODE (Q170).  Lots of time slots available but we'd LOVE to fill them all and have them extend the time!  It you are unable to make it, you can donate at ANY Gulf Coast Regional Blood Center in February and use THAT CODE to contribute in honor of Hans.  Please feel free to INVITE ANYONE you know!

Friday, January 18, 2013

Another talk, at last

There are two more talks to share.  I hadn't planned such a long, delay, but here you go.

Roxie is my dear friend and Hans' Godmother.  She found the amazing strength to MC the Celebration for us, and to write the following for us:

(The Celebration opened with the following audio clip from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.)  

"I am Optimus Prime and I send this message so that our pasts will always be remembered, for it is in those memories that we live on."


Welcome.  Today we’re here to honor and celebrate a nine year old.  He loved Transformers!  
Today we mourn the person that Hans could have been, a politician, a pro skate boarder, a guitarist, a priest, a teacher, a nurse.  We have all stood as witnesses to life, suffering and the incredible strength of Hans and his family.  But today we also celebrate who he was, a lover of animals, a rugged individualist, a super griller, a guy with excellent dance moves, and a great Lego builder.  Today, we celebrate Hans.

I’ve thought a lot about this day, we all hoped this day would never come.  I’ve thought there is so much to say if this day did come.

Hans was so much to so many people.   We all feel honored to have been a part of his journey.  I met Lara Kevin, and Ellie in 2000 and Hans wasn’t around yet.  And when I met them, Lara and I were working together at Monterey Rape Crisis Center.  We would commute most days together in the car -  an hour there and an hour back. And because of that we had a lot of girlfriend time that most people don’t get in their twenties and we became fast friends. When they moved to Texas, and upon the birth of Hans, I was honored when they asked me to be his Godmother.  And I took that job very seriously.  It was a little heavier than I thought it would be at the time!
Hans was a cherub as a baby -  A beautiful perfect soul.  He was so full of love and excitement, and had the most amazing dance moves!  He has the most dedicated parents that I have ever known.

I was with Hans and Lara and Kevin and Ellie through a lot of his treatments and therapies, especially once they moved back to California. And all I can say from being on the ground there with them is that he was a Gladiator.  He was a trooper.  He had the strength and spirit that was amazing.  It was like he was trying to get all of life in as fast and as hard as he could.  He was the toughest kid I knew.

I was with Hans within 48 hours before he passed.  I was able to lean down and whisper to Hans “I love you”.  Most of you who know Hans, know he was a little standoffish the last few years.  It took him to be asleep to get so close, but while I was so close I got to see all of those cute freckles that I had forgotten about that he’d had since he was a baby. And I remembered the old Hans, the one that we took to the zoo, the one that would click his glass to mine to say cheers – ten fifteen times in a row if I wanted to. He’s part of all of us, and I truly believe his trials will go on to help other children.  I will think of Hans in every blade of grass, every unfolding leaf, every flower, every planet, every sunbeam.  I love you Hans.

Thanks, Roxie!  Hansie loved you!