About Me

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Bakersfield, CA, United States
Hans was a busy, happy, sweet and fearless three year old when he was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma. He fought his disease like a "gladiator" for nearly 6 years. Hans was an animal lover to his core. He was 'guarded' at home by his three cats, Black, Orange and Cotton. He also had his Golden Retriever, Honey, to keep him company. Hans enjoyed swimming, biking, gardening, grilling (he had his very own grill!), horseback riding, playing video games, building Legos, and flipping between Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network and Animal Planet. Hans loved all members of his family and he was a loyal friend. He had to go through a lot of treatment in his life. But Hans powered through it. His attitude was let's get this done! His motivation was always to get back home, to his family, pets, favorite foods and pool.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

reflections on a year ago today Oct. 2nd

A year ago today Hans seemed to be doing sort of okay. Our appointment with the Pediatric Urologist was still two days away. Hans still had his small bruise on his testicle. He didn't like me to carry him on my hip, and he didn't like to have his legs flipped very far back when we changed him. He was also getting fussier than usual.
We had Elle's eight-year-old well child visit with our family doctor, the one who had seen Hans the week before and referred him out to the Pediatric Urologist. Hans was there with Elle and I during her check up. I was floored that the doctor failed to ask about Hans or to mention one word about him or our visit just 5 days earlier. I had not yet even spoken directly with him on the phone regarding Hans' ultrasound results. So, he failed to ask about Hans, that is until it came time to ask if I wanted a flu shot for Elle. Then, he turned to me and asked if I wanted a flu shot for Hans. I asked him if it would be counter-indicated with Hans' current condition. He assured me that no, it should be fine. The conspiracy theorist in me figured he just wanted to get another copay out of the visit. I just felt like he had dropped Hans like a hot rock.
Just this Fall, we have decided to switch Pediatricians. I just felt like I couldn't go back in there and look at the doctor with a secure sense of trust. I appreciate that a Pediatric Cancer Diagnosis is difficult to nail down, but I didn't like the sense of - I don't know what is going on here so go and talk to someone else.
More on Oct. 2006 later...

Hansie started up Accutane yesterday. He seems to be doing okay so far. For some reason, Kevin and I didn't sleep well last night, but I think it's just nerves around starting this medicine back up. We have a quiet day today before going down for scans on Wednesday and Thursday and then off to the Ranch on Friday!

Lara

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I hope you all have an awesome time at the ranch...a much earned treat! Our thoughts and prayers will be with you all for another round of clean scans.

Love & hugs, Aunt Holly and Uncle Michael